Attorney-at-Law

THE FORTY MILLION

In Uncategorized on 04/29/2015 at 16:31

One hundred ten years ago, roughly, William Sidney Porter (a/k/a O. Henry) produced a collection of 25 short stories under the title “The Four Million.” It appeared in paper format, cloth bound, as was then the means of diffusing both fact and fiction.

Time has erased Mr Porter’s rights therein, so gutenberg.org, the online publisher, has made the work available for free, to all, in hypertext machine language (HTML). The entire opus takes up some 322 KB.

Modern technology and the ever-accelerating use thereof have left poor old O. Henry and his publishers, Doubleday, Page & Co., in the dust of past ages.

Comes now Eaton Corporation and Subsidiaries, Docket No. 5576-12, filed 4/29/15, an upwelling fount of blogfodder, to show how far progress has taken us.

Patient Judge Kerrigan, who has been refereeing this bunfight, is brought to a halt.

“On February 11, 2015, respondent filed a motion to compel production of documents (index # 0223) which pertains to respondent’s first formal request for production. This request seeks documents related to the order management database (the VISTA system) used by Eaton’s electrical business.” Order, at p. 1.

Note the date of the filed motion: February 11, 2015.

Now skip down a few lines in the Order.

“Petitioner produced 64 gigabytes of data (the equivalent of over 40 million pages of documents) in response to respondent’s request on February 13, 2015”. Order, at p. 1.

Note that 64 gigabytes amounts to some 67,108,864 kilobytes.

Forty million pages! Think of that. More than Homer, Shakespeare, Goethe, Molière, Cervantes, Plato, Aristotle, Jefferson, Lincoln, Newton, Freud and Einstein have written, combined, to say nothing of the sacred texts that have ruled the human mind for millennia.

And in two days yet. Talk about reciting all the Law and the Prophets whilst standing upon one foot!

Did any of those forty million documents even vaguely approach the quality of the works of the authors abovecited (to say nothing of the authors of the sacred scriptures), the ultimate human salvation must be upon us.

And IRS’s response?

“Respondent contends that the request has not been completed.” Order, at p. 1.

Is Judge Kerrigan stunned? Not hardly. “It is the Court’s understanding that the parties are still discussing the VISTA data discovery.” Order, at p. 1.

With 40 million pages to discuss, and only two months or so into the process, I should think they would be.

So let the parties file a status report in two weeks’ time, and Judge Kerrigan will hold IRS’s February 11 motion in abeyance.

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