The mysterious English Elizabethan poet was once charged, but never convicted, with counterfeiting money. He supposedly said that he had as good a right to coin money as Queen Elizabeth I (or II, for that matter, I suppose).

Benjamin A. Rogovy & Carol J. Castellon Miranda,17513-24, filed 3.18/26, bitcoin aficionados, would agree. Howbeit, IRS claims they were hard-forked, and thus owe tax.

Judge Ronald L. (“Ingenuity”) Buch understands these things, which I totally do not, despite having among my nearest and dearest one who can block a chain with the best of them. So I’ll let Judge Ingenuity Buch judge-‘splain.

“Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency that can be traded, exchanged into fiat currencies, and used to pay for goods and services. See I.R.S. Notice 2014-21, 2014-16 I.R.B. 938. Bitcoin exists on a blockchain, which is a public ledger of cryptocurrency transactions. The Bitcoin blockchain is governed by a set of rules and technical standards, and any changes to the protocols governing the blockchain require consensus from the Bitcoin network, which includes all participants interacting on the blockchain.

“Bitcoin is held on the blockchain at a specific address. A participant can send Bitcoin to another address on the blockchain using public and private keys. These keys are alphanumeric codes that serve a similar function to a bank account password (private) and a bank account number (public). Private keys are stored in ‘wallets’ and public keys are shortened into a ‘wallet address’ which is the identifier for specific Bitcoin addresses.” Order, at p. 2.

But Ben’s problems start at the fork. He got some forked bitcoins.

“The blockchain can split in a process called a ‘hard fork.’ A hard fork occurs when the blockchain is copied and a new protocol is adopted for the newly copied blockchain, thus creating a forked blockchain. This forked blockchain is an exact copy of the legacy blockchain at the time of the fork, but future transactions on the forked blockchain will follow the new protocol. A hard fork has no impact on the continued functioning of the legacy blockchain, and it does not alter the holdings of the legacy cryptocurrency. After a hard fork, an individual who has a wallet that controls a cryptocurrency on the legacy blockchain also has a corresponding wallet address and public key for the forked blockchain that represents the newly ‘forked coins.’ The number of forked coins in the forked blockchain wallet corresponds to the number of coins in the legacy wallet. After a hard fork, an individual would need to take additional steps to obtain the forked coins.” Id, as my expensive ex-colleagues would say.

The question is did Ben actually have constructive receipt of the forked coins. IRS claims he had receipt of $9 million worth. Ben claims he didn’t, and wants summary J.

He doesn’t get it. Too many fact questions.

I have eschewed all the obvious puns about the forking process.