No, not Judge David Gustafson, although he well merits that sobriquet. This time, it’s Judge Patrick J. (“Scholar Pat”) Urda, confronted with a request for aid from Frank Czerwinski & Karen Czerwinski, et al., Docket No. 20292-22, filed 7/24/24.

Frank & Karen are enmeshed in a captive insurance company dogfight, with multiple petitioners and status reports flying around. So Frank and Karen “indicated in the status report that they have ‘conferred regarding several potential avenues to limit trial time in this case,’ and requested direction from the Court.” Order, at p. 1. Frank & Karen must have learned that when lawyers are involved, talk is never cheap. Their trusty attorneys, all three (count ’em, three) of them, are part of a firm that boasts “40 practice areas, [and] our team of over 500 lawyers has an unwavering focus on providing unmatched client service and the highest quality legal advice.” See their website.

Well, Judge Scholar Pat isn’t going to second-guess this high-class, high-priced talent. ” Ultimately, the parties are free to prosecute the cases as best serves their clients….” Order, at p. 1.

But.

Judge Scholar Pat will try to oblige those who seek his aid.

“… the Court has a suggestion. We suggest that the parties identify a single case or one consolidated group of cases as a lead case. All the other groups of cases could then be disposed of under a stipulation to be bound to the outcome of that lead case. Failing that, the parties should work towards agreeing to a small number of lead cases with attendant stipulations to be bound, respectively.

“The Court anticipates that the good-faith efforts of the parties may reduce the total trial time needed in these cases. However, the Court views the sheer number of such cases not as a reason to delay trials any further, but rather as a reason to take up these cases expediently. The Court remains committed to conducting all necessary trials in these groups before September 2025.” Order, at p. 1.

So tell Judge Scholar Pat what case or cases are the leads, or if y’all can’t agree, tell Judge Scholar Pat how you’d reduce trial time. And, as this rodeo may need hours before summer, 2025, how are y’all fixed for April and May, 2025?

That’s judge speak for “nudge nudge, wink wink, this ballgame is going to extra innings, chaps, so y’all had best choose a couple good lead cases, or  forget what’s in your wallet.” (hi, Judge Holmes).