Though attributed to Ben Franklin, the hundred-dollar man, the famous quotation is said to be older by at least 70 (count ‘em, 70) years. But the short version leaves out the most important part: “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Letter to J-B Leroy, 1789.

That obliging jurist, Judge David Gustafson, grappled with the famous dictum yesterday.

I missed blogging it because, septuagenarian that I am, I was untimely ripp’d from my beloved, deceased flip-phone, and thrust into the current century. One of my nearest and dearest, taking pity on an old man. bestowed upon me her old iPhone 8+.

The complications, anfractuosities, labyrinthine and Byzantine turning and turning in the widening gyres of the mind of Steve Jobs embodied in this rosegold colored device has made the simple act of dialing the telephone rather more complicated than the first Lunar landing and the rescue of Apollo 13 combined. And I know this Pandora’s Box has more computing power than every computer in America combined had in 1962, when I first studied computers.

Howbeit, at long last, here is the sad story of Alan Rainwater and Susan Rainwater, Deceased, Docket No. 4277-19, filed 6/11/19.

I’ll let Judge Gustafson tell it in his own plain way.

“The Court has received the parties joint status report…which describes the progress in the case. The Court appreciates the parties’ work so far in developing the case. The Court acknowledges the importance of the wrongful-death suit that petitioner Alan Rainwater is undertaking, but asks that Mr. Rainwater not let that undertaking halt the progress of this case.” Order, at p. 1.

Although Judge Gustafson appreciates your efforts so far, report every 60 days how you’re doing.

For even the most obliging jurist at the Glasshouse, though both are certain, don’t forget the taxes.