From the Idiots’ Guide to Sports website: “One of the most common offensive penalties, holding is also one of the most costly: 10 yards. The official holds one arm with a closed fist against his body with the arm grasping the wrist. They say offensive blockers are guilty of holding on every play, but what the game officials are looking for is to see if the defender is unable to break free from the blocker’s grasp.”

Well, Judge Kerrigan won’t call offensive holding against IRS, because the players doing the holding are wearing the uniform of the United States Marshal Service (and it is undisputed the defender cannot break free, as he was sentenced to 45 years in the slammer).

That’s the story of Marvel Thompson, Docket No. 6536-13L, filed 12/8/14, a designated hitter from Judge Kerrigan.

Marv never bothered filing a return for the year at issue, but ever-obliging, IRS gave him a Section 6020(b) SFR, and threw in a SNOD, both at no extra charge. Marv petitioned the SNOD, and he and IRS settled, with the settlement agreement specifically providing “…interest will be assessed as provided by law on the deficiency and additions to tax due from petitioner.” Order, at p. 1.

Well, when Marv signed the agreement, the US Marshal’s guys had had his records, his funds, and of course Marv his own self, tucked well away for about eight years.

And the Marshal’s guys weren’t about to turn any of Marv’s funds loose, to the IRS or anybody else.

IRS sends a Notice of Jeopardy Levy (what the urgency is I can’t tell, as the US Marshal is not, so far as it known, about to flee the jurisdiction or secrete any funds) to Marv, and he sends off a Form 12153, claiming IRS delay attributable to the US Marshal, holding his money and not letting him pay.

Judge Kerrigan: “Petitioner does not point to any specific IRS employee or any specific ministerial or managerial act that would meet the criteria for abatement of interest pursuant to section 6404(e). He simply states that IRS employees helped with the criminal investigation that led to, and were present at, his arrest. And respondent agrees that ‘[t]he Government, including IRS agents, was involved in investigating and arresting [petitioner] on criminal charges that lead to a 45 year conviction.” However, the record reflects that it was the U.S. Marshals Service that held his funds, not the IRS. Even if the IRS did assist with the criminal investigation, such assistance does not qualify as a ‘ministerial or managerial act which caused an unreasonable delay’ such that an abatement of interest would be warranted.” Order, at p. 3.

Excuse me, Judge, but remember my blogpost “Getting Shifty”, 9/20/13? No? Well, take a peek.

If the US Attorney and IRS are on the same team, and the acts of one are attributable to the other, why is it that the US Marshal and IRS aren’t on the same team?

And besides, Judge, now that you’ve allowed IRS to levy, upon what will IRS levy? Marv’s funds in the hands of the US Marshal’s office?

Maybe I’m slow, but this don’t make a lot of sense to me.